


Meow

by Annerp



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Steve Rogers, Based somewhat on reality, Crack, Kinda, M/M, Meet-Cute, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Original Character(s), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Startled the meow right out of me, Steve Rogers is a little shit, Steve is a big dork, Wingman Natasha, frostshield - Freeform, i'm just doing what i want over here, loki may or may not be human, meow, steve has a very active inner monologue, stoki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 10:12:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18798268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annerp/pseuds/Annerp
Summary: There's a new security guard at Steve's building. Steve's cool with that. Except Steve Rogers is not cool at all.





	Meow

**Author's Note:**

> This is set somewhere in the year or so after Steve comes out of the ice. Loki doesn't bring the Chitauri to earth. None of that happens. Steve is adjusting with Natasha's help and they are pretty close. She's been acting as his wingman on weekends to help him with his love life. And even though Captain America is pretty smooth and under control, Steve Rogers most definitely is not. He's a big adorable mess. 
> 
> Loki may or may not be human. It works either way.
> 
> Big thanks to bennettmp339 for the ending.

 

Meow

 

Monday May 6 12:47pm

Steve is walking towards the front door of his apartment building on his way to grab a sandwich at the deli down the street. As he approaches, there is an older gentleman standing there with a friendly smile on his face. 

“Good afternoon,” the man greets as he pulls open the door for Steve. 

The blonde gives a polite smile and slight dip of his head as he returns the greeting and hurries along his way. _What was the name of that turtle from Bugs Bunny? Guy looks just like him._

 

Monday May 6 1:53pm

“Back already?” the man says as he pulls the door open for Steve again. This time, Steve pays a little more attention and notices the AAA Security patch on the long sleeve of the man’s button up shirt. He can only attribute his failure to notice before to his extreme hunger. 

“Yep!”

 _Certainly feel safer with good ole Cecil here_. Steve suppresses a grin, while simultaneously feeling pleased that he was able to look up the cartoon tortoise on his phone to get his name. 

He supposes its possible that the general feeling of comfort and safety around his apartment complex also contributes to his not being as alert as he normally would. But that’s a big reason why Steve chose to live in this building, in this neighborhood. It just felt good. And even if the guard at the front door is new, Steve doesn’t really pay it any mind.

 

Tuesday May 7 11:31am

“So what’s up with the guard at the front door?” Natasha breezes in and flops down on Steve’s couch, one foot over the arm rest and the other on the floor, before he can even get up to let her in.

“That was locked.” He grumbles before smiling at her. 

Natasha shrugs and picks up the TV remote. She navigates through the cable menu and selects a movie to watch that she knows is on Steve's list. “If you don’t want people coming in, get better locks.”

 _Or I could just bring Cecil up to guard my door._ He has to stifle a giggle behind his hand when he thinks about Natasha and Cecil fighting hand to hand. Watching those Bugs Bunny and Cecil the Tortoise cartoons last night probably wasn’t a good idea after all.

 

Wednesday May 8 8:15am

“Off to work?” 

“Uh… no. Just going down to the corner to get some coffee.” Steve points to the corner, which of course is completely unnecessary since the giant Starbucks sign is pretty hard to miss. _Althooooooggghhhhh_ …… Steve waits expectantly, hoping Cecil will comically squint his eyes trying to see the huge green letters. He almost sighs in disappointment when it doesn’t happen. 

“Well, enjoy your coffee!”

 

Thursday May 9 5:23pm

Steve walks out of the bathroom, drying his hands on the front of his jeans and almost jumps out of his skin when Natasha pops out from the kitchen with a cold chicken leg in her mouth.

 _Sexy_.

“What was that?” She asks around the leg.

_Did.I.Say.That.Out.Loud?_

“Nothing!”

“So. Tim’s really nice,” she says casually as she puts the plastic container of leftover chicken back in the refrigerator.

_Shit. Tim? Who’s Tim? That guy from the store? The one from SHIELD?_

“Who’s Tim?”

Natasha gives him a dramatic eye roll and drops down on the couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table. One of these days he’s going to tell her to use his furniture properly. Not today. But one of these days. “The guard. He told me his name is Tim.”

“Tim,” he repeats with a frown before digging his phone out of his pocket. “He reminds me of this,” he says as he pulls up the image of the Bugs Bunny cartoon and shows it to her.

The way Natasha snorts when she laughs sends Steve off into his own fit of giggles.

 

Friday May 10 6:37pm

“You are not wearing that,” Natasha admonishes Steve, pointing a finger back down the hallway he just came from.

He looks down at himself, “what’s wrong with this?”

As far as he can tell, there is absolutely nothing wrong with his plaid shirt and khaki pants. They even have a precise crease ironed into the seam. 

“No!” she gives him a little shove on the chest to get him moving back towards his bedroom. “You cannot expect me to be your wingman tonight and then dress like that.”

Steve looks down at himself again. “Like what?”

“Like you’re 100 years old!” By now, Natasha has opened his closet and is throwing clothes out on to his bed. 

“I AM 100 years old,” Steve reminds her as he tries to pick up the clothes as fast as she is throwing them out.

With a huff, she pops her head back out of the closet. “Then go ask Tim out on a date. He’s about your age.” She narrows her eyes at him in challenge and waits until the inevitable moment when he gives in to her.

“Fine,” he grumbles, dropping all the clothes back on the bed. 

“Put these on,” Natasha tells him as a pair of jeans hit in him the face. He manages to avoid the shirt that flies out of the closet after them, “and this.”

Dutifully, Steve takes his new outfit to the bathroom to change. Its fine. He guesses. His ass looks pretty good if he does say so himself. He gives himself another once over in the mirror and decides that, okay, maybe Natasha has a point. 

He grabs his wallet, decides against a jacket, since its warm out and they head to the door. He’s thinking about Natasha’s stupid joke about asking Tim out as they approach the door to the building. Tim is nice and their ages are chronologically somewhat close, but physically Steve is a young guy and he knows exactly what kind of partner he is looking for. Through the glass, he can see the gray shirt and dark pants of Tim’s uniform as he leans against the wall to the left of the door. 

Natasha doesn’t wait for Tim to open the door as he usually does and just pushes through, pulling Steve by the wrist right behind her. Steve opens his mouth to say hi to him, but nothing comes out. Which is retrospect is probably for the best as he watches the guard, who is definitely not Tim, bring a water bottle to his lips and take a long, slow drink while Steve’s brain turns to absolute mush as it makes its way, along with the rest of his blood, down towards the lower half of his body. 

_Oh. Oh! What are you?...Oh no….that is not how you drink that….no you did not just…. You did…..it has to be illegal to drink water and look like that all at the same time…..that is not……not fair…..i may just have to march you right back to my place and bend you over my knees so I can……STOP! Not thinking about that at all. Not at all. Okay. don’t look at his face…or his hair….or his neck….son of a bi…..don’t look at that either….okay….what’s safe? Arms. Arms are safe…..shit, no….arms are not safe….not safe at all….okay…look down….NO! Abort mission! Do not look down. DO NOT LOOK DOWN!_

_Shit. Shit. Shit. He’s right there. Play it cool. Be cool. Just be cool. Say hi. Just like you planned to say to Tim. No big deal. Just say Hi. Play it coooooollllllll._

Steve opens his mouth, ready to act normal, perfectly normal. “Meeoow.” _WHAT IN THE NINE REALMS OF HELL WAS THAT? I am going to kill Clint ‘cat videos are the best’ Barton. I just…..I just meowed at that guy. And now I have to move. Tonight. Because I cannot come back here ever again._

He walks just a little faster so he can get around the corner and properly bask in his humiliation, but he can’t stop himself from looking back one more time at tall, dark and perfect who has the water bottle up at his lips again and a smirk on his face. 

_Damn_

“I am speechless,” Natasha says beside him. 

Steve had forgotten all about her, but now he is mortified to realize that not only did super sexy, new guard observe his shame, but Natasha did as well. _Hooray_.

“Did you actually just meow at that guy?”

He can tell she is trying really really hard not to laugh at him and part of him is grateful for that, the other part wants to push her out into traffic so there is one less witness. But he doesn’t. Even for Captain America, that could be problematic.

 

Saturday May 11 2:06am

 _Damn_. 

_Its okay. Be cool. Just keep your mouth shut and your head down. This is New York. Having a guy meow at him can’t be the weirdest thing to happen to him. Heck, probably not even the weirdest thing today. He’s probably already forgotten about it. Head down, get inside, go to bed, try not to die of embarrassment, stay in the apartment until Tim is back on duty._

Steve approaches the door to his apartment building, senses hyper aware of everything around him. _You had a nice night out. Didn’t meet anyone, but still, it was fun and Natasha is a good wingman. Almost there. Head down. Hand out. Grab the handle. Almost in the clear. Get upstairs. Go to bed._

“So you like cats huh?”

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk._

_Run!_

 

Saturday May 11 12:42pm

Steve blinks his eyes open and then promptly shuts them again. “I’d just give you a key, but I don’t really see the point anymore.”

Natasha chuckles from where she is laying on the bed beside him. “So it turns out that Tim will be back on Sunday night. He’s on rotating shifts with Loki.”

“Who’s Loki?” Steve mumbles as he lifts his blanket just enough to check if he is wearing pants or if he fell asleep in just his underwear. Its just the underwear.

“You know. Super hot guy. So hot he startled the meow right out of you.”

Steve grabs his pillow and hits her square in the face. 

“Shut up. He did not.”

“Really? Because I was there when you first saw him.” Steve opens his mouth to protest again, but she holds up a finger to shut him up. “Meow. And that’s a quote Rogers.” 

_Ohmygod_. “I am such an idiot.”

“Yeah-“

“Hey! I’m not really an idiot!” He cuts her off, feeling indignant at her quick agreement. 

She quirks an eyebrow at him before continuing. “Yes. You are. But apparently, he’s into that.” She shrugs and then gets up off the bed nonchalantly. 

Steve throws back the blankets and jumps up to block her path out of the room, “what do you mean he’s into it?”

“What are you trying to do? Put someones eye out with that thing? Go put some pants on.”

He makes a small noise in the back of his throat when he follows her gaze down to his incredibly comfortable and very tight boxer briefs, a luxury of this time period that he happily indulges in, but which hide absolutely nothing from view. 

_Shit_

He flails for the dresser and practically pulls the top drawer out onto the floor in his haste to pull out a pair of pajama pants. 

_Why are the legs all twisted? How did that even happen? Did these shrink in the wash? Why can’t I pants?_

“Okay, so I’m going to go out here,” Natasha points back towards the living room. “This is painful to watch. Try not to hurt yourself getting dressed. And maybe rethink that whole ‘not an idiot’ stance while you’re at it.” 

When Steve emerges a few minutes later, he is looking decidedly calmer, even if Natasha is pretty sure his shirt is inside out. 

She debates making him sit and wait, but decides that is too cruel, even for her. “He asked about you.” Natasha holds a hand up to stop Steve when she see’s him start to all but vibrate in his chair. “His name is Loki, he just started working in security, before that he worked for his families business and for some reason, he thinks you’re cute.”

Steve opens his mouth and Natasha can already see the questions forming in his head. “Nuh uh,” she tells him. You want answers, you have to ask him yourself. He’ll be at Starbucks two hours before his shift starts, so I suggest you go get ready for your coffee date.”

“Really?” Steve beams at her and for just a moment Natasha’s heart twinges with just how earnest Steve is. He just wants to find someone to share his life with and be happy. And dammit, he deserves it. But on the other hand, he is also a bit of a shit.

“Yes. Really.” She gets up to leave, but before she walks out, she turns back. “I told him you only speak cat though.”

“You what?” She can hear his shout from out in the hallway and laughs all the way to her car.

 

Saturday March 21 8:17pm

“So it’s a little known fact that Steve really likes cats.”

Steve can already feel his cheeks starting to burn. _No. Natasha nonononono_

He knows it’s a tradition and that Natasha is taking her job VERY seriously, but not this. Why did she have to bring up this.

“Back when he was single he had this scale for guys he was interested in. What was it again Steve?” she looks over at him, all wide eyed and innocent. For a moment, he debates just flipping her off, but decides that he should try to be better behaved, given the setting. “Oh, that’s right. It was; okay, cute, good looking, sexy, damn, “ she pauses for dramatic effect and Steve really wants to throw something at her, like maybe a table, “and startled the meow right out of me.” 

There is a beat of silence while the gathered crowd digests that bit of information, but when Clint almost falls off his chair when he howls with laughter, the entire room breaks out in a series of giggles and snickers. Those who know Steve best, the loudest amongst them.

Steve is fairly certain his face is blazing red and he vows to get Natasha back. One of these days she’ll slip up and do something embarrassing and he’ll be waiting to exact his revenge. A warm hand on his thigh derails his train of thought and his eyes focus on those long fingers and fine boned hands. He allows his gaze to travel up over the edge of white cuff sticking out from the black jacket sleeve. And further to the jet black hair that brushes along slim shoulders, over the graceful neck and into the pools of deep green that are his new husbands eyes.

Loki leans in and Steve’s breath catches when he feels the tickle of an exhale across his ear. “Meow.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, I'd love to hear about it.
> 
>  
> 
> The basis for this is from real life. There is actually a guard Tim, who reminds me of Cecil. And there is actually super sexy hot guard. And yes, he was so hot he startled the meow right out of me......


End file.
